As much as I love you and your antics, I really, really do not appreciate the golden showers you bestow upon my chest. You should know this by now. While I appreciate your butt wiggling, I still would like some advance notice. I love you, you cute bastard.
Dear Zoey and Dexter,
I appreciate that you both seem to think that my neck is THE spot to lay your weary head down, but the fighting has to stop at some point. I really don't appreciate two piggy heads pressing against my windpipe, along with teeth chattering. I really don't wanna have to give you two another bath.